đThe Spare Room
August, 2026
âMy desire for going platinum eradicated the silver lining.â
Just over a week ago, I drafted the first âPostcardâ in the early hours as I made my way into London to catch the Eurostar.
Tomorrow, Iâll be making my way into London to catch the Eurostar once more. This time, weâll be taking it a bit further to Amsterdam, for the World Cup.
For now, Iâm taking a break from the inevitably long-winded pack that comes before a 3-week trip.
We are incredibly lucky to call what we do a profession. As with all professions, it comes with its own contextual pressures, and this can often be rendered in the form of the next challenge.
At the end of the first edition of âPostcardsâ, I referenced a line from a Norman Sann song that I struggle to skip. The words have become more prominent in previous weeks and they did so through our home stand of the Pro League in June.
Any good performance is swiftly replaced with the âdo-it-againâ mentality that all elite performers cherish. Any successful team wants to transition from competitive to winning to dominant. Thereâs no let-up. And nor should there be.
By default, you can get swept up in the tidal wave that accompanies chasing such an intangible and negate the ability to recognise the moments to appreciate where you are if youâre not careful.
The pursuit of something great isnât wrong. Ambition is why youâre here. But ambition can become so all-consuming and blinding to whatâs around you that you stop seeing that which a former version of yourself longed for and even dreamed of witnessing first-hand.
I canât honestly say that just the kid in me dreamed of being able to play on a stage like this because the adult in me did as well. I turned 29 dreaming of the opportunity to possibly get 1 cap.
Itâs exactly 5 years ago today (9th August) that I received a message from the GOAT of British hockey; Barry Middleton.
After years of walking a path filled with longing that ultimately had seemed to end in an acceptance of coming up short, the message read thusly;
âWhatâs your thoughts on trying for senior programme? Is it something youâre still wanting to do. This autumn is when the assessments are. Players will be nominated through EDP, home nations and also clubs can put players forward.
We will definitely nominate you, if youâre wanting to go for it.â
A door had creaked open to reveal the tiniest ray of light. In truth, I thought it was a tick-box exercise. A chance to finally be seen to formally conclude with a justification for why I hadnât been looked at in the 8 years since I left the U21âs.
I had a good job and a career I was proud of. Did I really want to put it all on hold for something that I genuinely believed would most likely come to nothing?
It took me one literal minute to reply.
âIâd give anything to get capped mate. If thereâs half a shout then Iâm there.â
Fast forward 5 years to the day and here I am packing my 2022 Commonwealth Games bag to head to my second World Cup.
Thanks, Baz.
Once youâre inside the environment that moulds this team, it can quickly become normal.
And normal is dangerous.
Not because of the complacency that can become so synonymous with comfort, but because familiarity can make extraordinary experiences feel routine.
The World Cup deserves every possible degree of ambition we have. But it also deserves our attention and presence. One day (for some, sooner rather than later), these moments wonât be routines anymore. Theyâll be memories.
And I donât want my entire reflection of a tournament to be dictated by a result.
Thereâs been a realisation of the finite amount of time at the top of the game, especially when youâre invite to the party came so late.
Being able to enjoy and be present in each and every moment carries as much value as could possibly be assigned to it. On top of that, enjoying what I do and being present is when I play my best game. Whoâd have thought?
Thereâs a well-quoted line from âThe Officeâ - the American version - which resonates with what I feel like Iâve found a way to appreciate of late.
âI wish there was a way to know youâre in the good old days, before youâve actually left them.â
Iâm aware Iâm living in them. So I might as well enjoy them.
